Forums » General Talk

Friendships

    • 12 posts
    May 4, 2018 4:28 PM PDT

    Was talking with a really close friend, which she has a boyfriend and I've never seen her that way, but anyway started to slip in about certain things in our chatting. Then mentioned about submission just to see how she felt about it, mind you she has always been there for me to talk about whatever. So, she tells me if she knew a friend or family member was that way it would really bother her and possibly write them off. I was hurt when she said that and knowing she has been the only person I can talk to about personal things. Still I didn't mention anything about me being submissive was just talking hypothetical with her. I haven't told anyone about how I'm submissive not even my dad or brothers. Guess I would rather them think I'm "normal" or whatever the case may be. What are your opinions on this matter? Who can you or do you talk with on a matter like this? Or who you talked to when you first decided to mention it?

    • 17 posts
    May 4, 2018 10:56 PM PDT

    Pretty sure only those online know the submissive side of me or any similar interests like that, mainly because I'm not interested in sharing private things like that with even family or friends. Probably one of the biggest reasons for me, other than I feel like it's not really their business to begin with, is not to is to find myself in a similar situation to yours.

    However, I have to say if they ever did find out and feel the need to write me off in any way, to me that says more about them than it does me. I'd apply that to you as well Kelly; if this friend finds out about you and can't handle that side of you and decides to write you off, it's more her loss than yours. "Normal" is pretty relative to me, even in places that like to conform to old-fashioned ways; your happiness seems more valuable than their normal. 

    I'd have to think hard about who in RL I'd share this with, but of course I have no issue with sharing this with a great community like this one.

     

    • 12 posts
    May 5, 2018 12:02 PM PDT

    She is only person to confide personal stuff and vice versa. Over the years she's become more of a sister, which I don't have any blood sisters. Yes, I don't mention this sort of topic to any family or friends since it's just too private. I'll just keep it from her because I don't want to lose her even if it hurts me. I'd be too devastated if she did find out this side of me and write me off. In her words she basically says that she can't be supportive of someone whether it's a friend or family member that is submissive because it shows they don't have a backbone. Think I'll just stick to this great community as well and maybe some day I can find someone that's really open minded to talk with IRL.

    • 6 posts
    May 6, 2018 3:32 PM PDT

    People in hypothetical situation will often try to say whatever they think is appropriate in that situation, since a man being submissive isn't a societal norm the obvious answer to your hypothetic is her response to you, it doesn't confide her true thoughts on the situation or that she understands what submissive means all together. Kind of like how hypnosis is magic mind control or isn't real to anyone that has never find interest in it.